I'm being punished at work for having overtime so they have cut my hours down to total shit.
We now have "closing techs" which I am today. Of course a blocked cat comes in so I tell Nicole no problem but I'm going to have to leave and come back because I have been sans-car since the end of December and I'm not going to have Dan bring the baby here at like 9 at night if I can avoid...to which she argues with me (which she does all the time because if it isn't her idea it isn't right). Now it's 7, Dan isn't here because of some fire fighting thing on E.Industrial.
My job is dildos, I've decided that I'm not cut throat enough to be in this business. I'm not angry enough to climb the ladder and I'm shat upon constantly because I choose to just do my job instead of using my co-workers as steps to get higher. I love working with animals, I feel true compassion for the owners that want to do everything they can in their power to help their animals...but the profession is filled with people that are very angry inside and they're always the ones who make it into power. Maybe I will become a hemp underwear maker and travel to all the hippy festivals, I will find love and peace there.

I am getting a new car which is sweet. I'm getting a Chevy Venture, it's all tricked out but it totally looks like a soccer mom car so my peeps are going to have to help me make it all hard core.

Boo for stuff. Yay for my family, friends, and mutts.

Sleepy

Hungry

bye bye

Did you realize that there are no day cares that have websites...except like corporate ones (i.e. KinderCare). I'm seriously considering it. Not so much because my mom can't get the gout thing under control...that may actually not be her fault, but more because she's trying to keep it from me. And not very well I might add, she came into the house the other day and took the phone, sat down in the kitchen and called the doc to make an appt because she could not get her shoe on. I'm in the other room doufus! If you didn't want me to know you probably should have done this from, I don't know, your apartment before you came to the house. My poor grandmother who can hardly hold my son has been shouldering alot of this and I feel horrible. I'm not entirely sure that we can afford daycare right now but it may be something that I have to seriously look into soon.
Good for socialization, bad for family dynamic as I will have to tell my mom that she can't watch Sean because she can't keep her health issues in check, something my sister has done already (though I'm sure Missi did it with less finesse)

The little man is no longer sleeping through the night and just recently is starting to get up more than once, I blame both the vaccines from a couple of days ago and the teething, regardless I just fed him and now I can't sleep because it's raining so hard.
Yesterday at work sucked balls. We had this dog named Max admitted to us becaue he just wasn't quite right. Turns out this dog was an untreated diabetic (wether the owner knew of his diabetes or not is still unknown) and his blood sugar was so high that it wasn't registering on either the blood machine or glucometer (the blood machine reads up to about 700+ I think). This dog was feeling like utter shite. We placed a catheter and tried to strongly recommend that she bring the animal to the e-clinic to have it treated overnight as we could do nothing more for him once the staff left at 6:30p and he wouldn't be treated again until someone came in at 7:30a. She refused and we had to leave him, well really I had to leave him because I'm in charge of treatments on Saturday mornings. I fully expected to come in to a dead dog in the morning. He wasn't, but he was covered head to toe in diarrhea, all over his e-collar, all over his face, I'm not entirely sure how he did it but it was gross. This dog was so comatose when I came in that I was able to do full on blood draws off of him with absolutely no help from anyone. It was also super fun to watch the dog slip deeper and deeper into a hyperglycemic stuper while we tried to explain to the owner that she could not treat this dog at home, he either needed to be admitted to a 24 hour care facility or he needed to be put out of his misery. She finally decided at 12:30 or so to take him up to CAVES to be admitted.
Saturdays suck in general but this once just sucked so much more. I got my flu shot, did a little grocery shopping so that we would have food and then just crashed in the living room with my monkey. I still feel beat even though I've slept like 7 hours.
People suck, watching animals die regardless of what your doing for them sucks, animals that act fine until you get them in a cage and try to take off their collars then decide to whip around and try to bite you suck.
I guess I'm having a whiney bitchy day.

So here's my take on Nightmare New England.
Besides that I have a bubble and there deal is to get into that bubble it wasn't that bad...would I do it again? Perhaps, but only if I bought the VIP tickets which are $39.99 a piece (but you can get a $5.00 coupon). The VIP ticket allows you to jump lines, go in as often as you want, and hang out at a bonfire afterwards.
We get there and they have some pretty kick ass guys walkin around bein all creepy. They have a pretty hard core rock band rockin it. The first house took us no less than an hour to get into...it was alright, worth an hour wait? No, but still cool. The second house was pretty sweet as it was not so much a house but a cemetary with a 10 ft reaper! I had to pee so bad in the line to the 2nd house that I was pretty much floating. I figure that the fear of wetting myself was part of the horror experience. After that house I used the porta john which was horrifying! At the third house we stood in line for about 35 minutes before we decided to move on as we were still 4 line loops away from the door. There was no lines no waiting at the 4th house and that was the best one!! It was set as an insane asylum and the actors were actually being funny.
The worst part of the lines is that this place was literally littered with teenagers and college students that couldn't go more that 5 minutes without lighting up or making out, even in the outdoor venue my lungs were becoming very scratchy.
It's worth checking out but make sure you have alot of interesting conversation or a couple extra bucks to go VIP.

Life is ok over on this end besides...my mother is a ditz. She refuses to take care of herself even though she has diabetes and continuously has problems with her feet, which she has been trying to hide from me since she has started watching Sean. I'm not as dumb as she hopes I am because I notice when she comes hobbling in and almost loses her balance when she tries to put him in his crib. So she has gout for the 2nd or 3rd time this month which is starting to wear on me as she spends ALL HER TIME at the house. Also leading me to wonder what will happen when Dan and I move out and she has to watch him at the apartment and this happens again. What the fuck am I supposed to do then? *sigh*

Work is good though I think there might be a little uproar on Tuesday as so of the techs are a-feudin. But whatever I'm happy there and this to shall pass.

I'm tired but I've got some new pictures that I will post later.

Hope everybodies Columbus day weekend is rocking their socks!!

Dan just said, " How come when I'm looking for pictures of assless chaps I can just find them on women and not gay dudes?"

Yeah, I married that

 http://www.ineradicablestain.com/skindex.html

Just cause it's neat...but I don't know what to write to the author.

I'm kinda bored, and kinda bummin about going to Milford. I have to go so that I can get my stuff, and as Christine hasn't written back to me I'm sure that I'm going to have to talk to her while I'm there as well. I really want to see all the people I work with but don't want the uncomfortable-ness that comes with "oh your not working here anymore," from the less mature crew...which I don't think any are left of that bunch so it may not be too bad. 
I'm happy to see all the peeps up front and all the techs...I hope the doctors will be happy to see me.
Ah well

I had to rewash my clothes because I stupidly left them in the washer and then dried them and realized after I was out that I smelled like ass. So I'm rewashing clean-ish clothes which is always super special.

Sean is a sleepy little bugger today. I tried to put him in his crib to watch his mobile, which he usually loves, but he started fussing so I put him in his vibratey seat and he nodded off. He is so adorable though :-)

I went out with friends last night and it was awesome. I laughed the whole time and it felt wicked good. I think for a little while there I was going through a depression of some sort but I think I'm finally kicking it as I have ambition to do things (if not lacking the energy from sleep deprivation) and I get to see my friends and laugh at ridiculous non-sensical things...like Len having more.

Well I'm going to go and get some stuff done before I head out...I will update about y'all as to how the Milford thing goes.

 

Sean has finally given me a chance to come and update my peeps and what the haps is :-)

So I don't have a job! I wrote to my OM to let her know when I'd be available to come back and what I would like my hours to be, to which she replied that they no longer do partial shift, "It's too hard on the docs and other techs." So I don't have a job as I can't go back to a job that is at least an hour and a half commute and a 10 hour work day. That would be close to 12 hours I would have to be away from home and on top of needing to pump every 2-3 hours, I really don't want to be away from Sean that long. So I'm currently looking for any kind of employment right now. Wish me luck on that.

Other than that my baby is awesome. He is a hungry little beast! I already have to put cereal in his formula 3x a day or so just so that he's satisfied enough to not be eating every 1.5-2 hours, and so he can nap during the day. He also is sleeping at night for like 5-6 hours, wakes up, eats, and goes down for another 3!
I have no idea what he weighs right now but I can bet that it's at least 13 lbs and he's so tall that we can hardly swaddle his in the receiving blankets anymore! He truly is a viking.
 But everytime that little blonde haired, blue eyed cutie looks at me and smiles I melt. I love him very much, even when he has me so stressed out I'm crying. 

I can't wait till his doc appt when they tell me how big he's gotten, and so Dr. Myers can sternly talk to me about how much he's gained...*giggle* he's a big boy.
My uncle I guess was a bruiser as a baby too.

Ah well, I'm going to do some other stuff while I can as my window of "sleepy time" is quickly closing, and Nana is gone for 2 weeks so it's me all by my lonesome during the day.

peace out!
:-D

I joined the ban-wagon! I'm not going to tag because most of the people that I would have tagged have already done it, but if you read this and you haven't and you would like to than you should.

1. I think I have an ok voice but don't sing in front of very many people
2. I wish I could get more enthusiastic and energetic about stuff but I think to much and always picture the worse happening and lose interest
3. I like shaving cats...seriously I will trade with anyone at work that gets to shave a cat
4. My goal for the summer is to convince myself that my son truely likes me and isn't just using me as a meal supplier
5. I need more tattoos, they give me a release that I seldom get anywhere else and I feel I need that right now.
6. I love my family but at the same time wish I had more and less contact with them
7. I've come to the realization that my grandmother has been, we'll saying not telling me everything but I'm more inclined to call it lying, to me for a long time and that I may finally be ready to leave this house.
8. I wish that my artistic ability still ran rampent through my head instead of me having to fight so hard to create
9. I feel that I might be depressed but am really scared to admit it
10. I can't throw books away
11. I love my job but don't want to go back to it
12. I hate researching celebrity type peoples that I like because I feel they always let me down by being really dumb in some way or another
13. I'm ashamed of myself for not being as social as I used to be in high school and for being so much heavier too
14. I have verbal diarrhea when I try to make conversation with people outside of my family
15. I really want to go to a concert
16. I haven't had a vacation in over 5 years and that makes me wicked sad

Wow, alot of my things are melancholy, sorry about that.

 So today is my "official" due date, and my baby is still inhabiting my womb. I've been experiencing things with my lady bits that are really quite surreal but "normal" in that my body is getting ready to squirt the little sucker out. I go to the doctor today and we are going to "talk about induction." The doctor I saw on Tuesday feels that we should wait because at that point I was only 1 cm still (but while he was in there checking he felt the need to stimulate the cervix to hopefully get things to progress a little faster...which I think may have worked, still yet to be seen) If I'm not dilated anymore I'm leary to consider induction because if my body isn't ready and they induce I have a higher chance of needing a c-section, I guess I'll have to see...I wish Dan could come to this appt with me, it would be so much better to have him there so if the subject comes up we can talk about it to each other and not the mouth pieces on our phones. 
Lets all chant to whatever deity that you care to call upon that when I get there, or at some point during the day my water breaks, the doctor is like your like 6 cm dilated lets get you to the hospital and get that baby out!
I'm sleepy and my legs are crampy so I'm going to finish up some housework and then take a nap. Love you all bunches, peace. 

UPDATE (5:25pm same day):
I just got in from my appt and there has been absolutely no change pretty much whatsoever. He tried stimulating again and I will see Eldridge (the doc I don't like) on Tuesday if (haha I say "if" as if there is any chance I'm going to go into labor before the end of time) to see if that has helped any. Sean slept through the first 20 minutes or so of the NST and my nurse forgot I was on the monitor which is always super special. I'm really upset about still being pregnant, obviously, and I'm increasingly more pessimistic about everything. We didn't talk about induction because I saw the same guy and he had already said that he didn't think we should and even though I'm really upset about lack of progress I agree with him. I'm just soo tired.

 So my son is a booger. He always gives them grief during the NST, they'll find him-go to strap the probe in place and then he'll move...and I'm sure he's giggling when he does it. So after that the doc did an internal (to which I'm pretty sure the nurse said to get undressed from the waist down because the doctor was going to check me "down there" O_o) I'm only like 1 cm dilated which sucks because I've been so unbelievably uncomfortable I was kind hoping to be in the 2-3 cm range. I guess at least it's 1 and not anything at all. Everyone keeps telling me to walk...and quite a few people are telling me to move furniture. Well walking I don't have a problem with but I don't really have any furniture that needs moving. So I moved a bunch of totes around looking for something for nana and then I brought 3 packages of 32 1/2 liter bottles of water...do you think that is enough. I've also put on a bunch of bouncy music and I've been jammin, Toki is having a ton of fun watching me act like a nut. My goal is to jiggle the little bastard loose! :-D
I have this image of him in utero where he's doing the "George of the Jungle - Vine foot lock" you know, you wrap the vine around one leg a couple of times and then use your feet at the bottom to lock it in place, only Sean is doing it with the umbilical cord.
Ooh also the doc said that if I haven't gone into labor by next Friday that we will "talk" about inducing....every one pray that I go into labor tonight because if I have to wait for the freaking appt's next week then I'm going to blow a hole in my freakin head. I would like my body to be my own again...and I would like to hold my baby. I keep looking at his diapers and being all like..."How the hell is my baby gonna fit in those?! They're so small!"
Ah well, I need to find something fun filled to keep me occupied until Dan gets home...and then later tonight we get to drive out to Hooksett to pick up his car. Joy of joys.

Actually raining right now might not be a bad thing...Well actually a big f-ing thunderstorm would be nice but we'll probably just drag this weather out till the very end of time!!
So here is why my day could be worse but hopefull will not be...I seriously am just having a bitch fest so don't read if you don't want to be annoyed with the bitchy pregnant chick;
 Needless to say I would like to curl up in an olympic size pool and not come above water for at least an hour...I have a ghetto pool that I bought at shit-mart yesterday but due to uneven land on the side yard have thus only been able to put about 3" of water in it before it starts to buckle on one side....yeah, yeah. So I think I'm going to go and overhaul my room as it needs to be picked up and vaccumed. Then I'm going to shower and go pick up my hubby.
Ooh, I get to go to a b-day party at my sisters tomorrow for Mom, Nana, and Kim....that should rock some socks :- /

Proof that Zeke can take a crazy photo! Hehehe he was so little and I'm pretty sure that he was about to "play attack" just as I shot that picture.

  
So if you go by theirs then I have 12 days, if you go by my keeping track because we were trying to get pregnant than we only have 2 days. Choose which you like obviously I want ours.

Friday we had a nice little bout of false labor which has left me sore, achy, and periodically contracting which blows. The weather while gross in regular situations is just making me feel more gross. My sister wants me to hang out in Bedford but I really don't want to.

I want to go swimming but being in a suit in front of alot of people would make me feel weird...maybe at a lake were the area is bigger and I'm less likely to be stared at with judging eyes that scream "TRAILER TRASH!!!"
Seriously it's very angry in my head.

Meh, I go

<div id="resdiv"><center><table border="0" style="border: 1px solid black; background: white;" width="380">
<tr><td align="center"><b><font size="+1">In the dark ages, how would Jessica die?</font><br /><br /></td></tr>
<tr><td align="center"><font size="+2" color="#000000">You would die on the battlefield, defending the country that taxed you and exploited your labour for the luxury of the nobility.  Oh boy!</font></td></tr>
<tr height="20"><td></td></tr>
<tr><td align="center" style="font-size: 8pt;"><a style="color: #FF0000;" href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=106">'How would you die in the dark ages?'</a> at <a href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com" style="color: #FF0000;">QuizGalaxy.com</a></td></table></center>
</div>


So if it doesn't show up, it says that I will die in battle. I am truely the warrior..
"Do you see what you get country, do you see what you get for messing with the warrior!!"

 Pregnancy has turned me into a raging inferno of hate. My good moods are few and far between, and when I do have them they are VERY easily gone by any small annoyance. I literally spent like 3 minutes cursing some old guy because he cut me off in traffic...I just screamed at the pringles can because it fell off the desk and I forgot to put the lid on so now I have crumbs on the floor. I want to get out of the house on one level but then angry me starts bitching about how I'll just get tired or sore and have to just turn around and have to come back home. 
I think I'm going to hole up for the rest of the day and eat ice cream and to fuck with every body else on earth (in a general sense obviously, I love all my friends but I'm afraid I'll explode if I try and travel anymore today)